all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
