How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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