He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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