If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
