We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
