so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
