i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
