What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize