So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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