what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
