I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize