Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I look better un-naked...
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize