You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
