Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
