haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
