Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
