Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
COCAINE IS GR8
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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