they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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