"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
