Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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