i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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