We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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