sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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