You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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