How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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