I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
