Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
