Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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