I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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