What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
