I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
