dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
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