Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Randomize
