Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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