her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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