This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
