Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
