Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
