This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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