I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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