Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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