I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
