I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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