What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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