Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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