I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize