You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
