I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
