You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
