yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
