yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
