she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
