I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
