it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
