Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
