just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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