Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
