when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
how do you play pong handcuffed?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
