adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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