...so i touched it.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
