Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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