What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
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