i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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