I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
