hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
