For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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