Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
