Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
