But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
look no pants
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
