The maid of honor just puked.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
