is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize