I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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