While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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