i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize